As a forward planner, I’m very organised but the festive period can often be a mix of joy AND challenge, especially for those who've been working long hours, are stressed about meeting deadlines, or feel isolated or overwhelmed.
These experiences or feelings affect not just the young or old, married or single but anyone across the generations, and across cultures.
The media impression that the festive season is full of glamour and cheer for all, all of the time, is enough to make anyone feel inadequate. If you’ve felt overworked, have dependents who are elderly or unwell or perhaps have lost interest in this time of year - whatever your stressor is - it’s normal. It’s a part of your real world. You might be a doctor, a nurse, a lawyer, a business owner, a homemaker - to me, you are human and we need to embrace all that this means.
Yet that’s exactly what can be forgotten sometimes.
Ditch the challenges
Many of us in busy, demanding roles positively appreciate a short break over the festive season but for others, it could be the opposite. Difficulties at home, anxiety about clients, worries about returning to a heavy workload or harsh boss could all be factors negatively impacting your wellbeing and motivation. Perhaps you feel obliged to take annual leave, losing your sense of agency at this time.
All of these present challenges that we can internalise. When we “fight” what is not in our control, we actually can end up feeling worse. Acceptance theory suggests that mental wellbeing improves when individuals acknowledge and accept their thoughts, emotions, and situations without resistance or judgment. Avoiding or fighting them can make things worse.
Adopting a growth mindset and learning to focus, and action things that you can control, and bring you joy, is much healthier for you.
Prioritise Connection
For Families: Create time for shared activities like baking, decorating, walking or storytelling to bond across generations. My dad is great at sharing stories about his childhood and it’s lovely to see my children listen attentively. Together, we learn things my dad didn’t have time to share when I was younger.
For Those Living Alone and those who know someone is alone: Reach out to friends, join community events or volunteer during this time. You will be amongst others who understand your personal position or choice. If you know someone is alone this year, call them, invite them to share some time with you. Overall, avoid getting sucked into the media image of what your festivities should look or feel like. It’s one day.
Not celebrating Christmas: make plans to celebrate your own traditions and consider inviting others to come along. It’s rare for everyone to have time off together so maximise this as an opportunity, not just to catch up on chores (or more work)!
Look after your wellbeing amongst the array of festive expectations
You know how you feel. December arriving has a way of making people focus on one BIG day. Plan ahead. Say no to events if you need to, decline the Christmas party invitations if it’s in your best interests; where possible, do not take on tasks that drain your energy - or accept what you can without getting ill or self-sabotaging. Alternatively, why not treat yourself to a pamper day so that you can feel energised for the days ahead?
At times, you may feel you do not have agency to say no but I encourage you to be polite and, in it helps, offer an alternative. Aim to be true to yourself, whether it’s time with the family or alone time as, over time, without this quality time, you may start to become resentful.
You may want to be mindful of cultural pressures you feel along with compassion for how your loved ones appreciate your presence. It’s about balancing traditions, remaining respectful and knowing what feels right for you. I personally feel it’s important to be with family and I’m grateful for the connection we have. Not everyone has this or wants this - know what’s right for you but don’t dismiss the need to be respectful or thoughtful - you never know how you could make someone’s day with an act of impromptu kindness.
Engage in Meaningful Giving
Wellbeing can be increased through the simple act of Volunteering; at this time of year, you could help at a shelter, a care home or food bank. Giving to others boosts your sense of purpose and reduces feelings of loneliness.
If you have children or children within the family/friends network that you see, encourage them to participate, teaching them empathy and the joy in helping others. Each year I would take the children to the local hospital with gifts. Simply giving and reminding ourselves that others need support was uplifting but meant we paused and thought - it keeps us grounded. For children who volunteer, they experience life from a different perspective.
Practice Mindful Festivities
Whether you have older family members around or you're volunteering at a care home, take the time to engage in meaningful conversations about happy memories. If you're not in the same location, connect through a call or video chat without hurrying. Be patient and attentive; you'll find it also improves your own well-being.
Younger Adults often over commit as it feels like there is suddenly a lot of free time; this is a time for you to rejuvenate, to be with you. Therefore avoid overcommitting and give yourself time for self-care activities like long walks, time with loved ones, reading, journaling or gratitude practices. Play a board game and have a digital detox. You can read more about digital detoxes here Reasons to Do a Digital Detox (external link).
Not everyone celebrates Christmas and this can be a great opportunity to embrace different traditions. For example, if you’re away from the family you usually spend the festivities with, why not host a differently themed dinner or try a new activity with friends like a museum, escape room or ice skating followed with a meal. If this is not on Christmas Day, you’ve still built new memories, and could still volunteer on the day itself if you feel having company will support you.
Final Words
This season what’s important is to not get drawn in by the glamorous images but instead to focus on what fills your heart. Happiness is found in simplicity, shared experiences, and self-compassion.
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